"I never sleep because sleep is the cousin of death."
These words always struck me, but never quite like they did today. Though I can say that I agree nominally with the statement above, that is all that I can say. In deed, it is quite another matter as the average amount of time I've spent sleeping per night in my life is close to nine hours-if not nine and a half.
This post will deal with sleep momentarily, but for the moment will focus on the Nas lyric above.
I spoke with a friend today who told me "Man's greatest enemy is Complacency". I must say that I couldn't agree more, though I prefer to say it in Spanish: No podria estar mas de acuerda.
I feel-and have felt for a while-that I am very close to accepting (dare I say loving?) myself. When I evaluate myself, my choices, and my position in life, I am, for the most part, fairly pleased. I believe at every point in my life that I will continue to strive to improve. However, I am, as I said before, fairly happy with where I am now.
However, my personal development has been stifled by complacency.
I have the desire to better myself. However, I lack the motivation. I believe that if I possessed more self-discipline, I would be as satisfied with myself as is possible for someone striving for perfection.
I became complacent with my intelligence-I settled for passing grades throughout my undergraduate career and resultantly presently feel less intelligent than I did a few years ago. I chose not to challenge myself.
I am in the worst health I've been in at any point that I can remember. Because I could afford to and was able to justify it to myself, I rarely cooked my own meals. And because I was content never to exercise, I'm in poor shape. I chose not to challenge myself.
I've always had the right goals... I just need to execute.
That's the theme of this blog, but until I actively change the way I live my life on a second-to-second basis, that won't change.
And it needs to.
Darren.
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