ASTRO ZOMBIES

Seeing as it's nearly Halloween, I think it's about time to discuss fear.

People are afraid of a lot of things. I'm a (recovering) germophobe, so I'm afraid of germs. People fear the dark, outdoors, peanut butter, the number thirteen, black cats, and a multitude of other things. I'm certain that the list is endless.

I am of the opinion that fear motivates all human actions. I think this point is intuitive, but I can provide a few examples. People go to college because they're afraid they won't be able to secure a steady job. They check the expiration dates on milk cartons because they're afraid to get sick. They wear seatbelts because they fear being seriously in a crash.

The main thing on my mind lately has been finding a female companion. I realized my behavior needs to change if this is to become a reality.

Having always been of the opinion that fear motivates our every action, it is surprising to me that I never inspected the causal relationship of my fears and my loneliness.

What is it exactly that I'm afraid of? Why can't I just put myself out there and meet women, having the knowledge that most times things won't work out the way I want them to? This knowledge should not prevent me from meeting new people, but rather encourage it. Shit happens, you just roll with it. Right?

Well, here's what I'm afraid of. It's taken me a number of years to realize it, and it's very naive while simultaneously romantic.

I'm afraid that my relationship with whomever the (unlucky) girl may be will ruin the notion of perfect romance.

I was made aware of this when I witnessed what other people may describe as a day-to-day occurrence. Before going out, a girl told her man "It's cold out, don't forget to bring a jacket," to which I would likely have replied, "Thanks sweetie, I'll go grab one," or something along those lines. Her man just said, "Yeah," and they were on with it.

I understand that after certain levels of exposure the nature of any relationship changes. I don't really know what all this adds up to, and as I'm sitting here writing this I feel I've asked more questions than I've answered.

I apologize for the abrupt ending, but...

Darren.

BADA BING

The following are my answers to Proust's personality questionnaire:

1. My favorite virtue: loyalty.

2. My favorite qualities in a man: steadfastness.

3. My favorite qualities in a woman: sincerity.

4. My chief characteristic: thoughtfulness.

5. What I appreciate the most in my friends: reflection.

6. My main fault: lack of self-confidence.

7. My favorite occupation: thinking.

8. My idea of happiness: having a woman to love.

9. My idea of misery: the last five years of my life.

10. If not myself, who would I be?: Jim Morrison.

11. Where would I like to live?: San Francisco, London, Buenos Aires.

12. My favorite color: purple.

13. The flower I like most: forget me nots.

14. My favorite bird: cockatoo.

15. My favorite prose authors: Vonnegut, Dostoyevsky, Salinger, Fitzgerald, Hemingway.

16. My favorite poets: Jim Morrison, Sean Daley, George Harrison.

17. My favorite heroes in fiction: Macbeth.

18. My favorite heroines in fiction: I haven’t read enough.

19. My heroes in real life: my father.

20. My heroines in real life: my mother, my sister, A.S.

21. My favorite food and drink: Thanksgiving dinner and brown ale.

22. My favorite names: for a man, James or Jakob (with a ‘k’ and not a ‘c’); for a woman, Julia.

23. Which characters in history I most dislike: G.W.F. Hegel.

24. My heroines in world history: Sandra Day O’Connor.

25. The military event I admire most: the United States victory at Battle of Yorktown.

26. The reform which I admire most: none; I am an apolitical entity.

27. The natural talent I’d like to be gifted with: beauty.

28. How I wish to die: soon, painlessly and tragically.

29. My present state of mind: introspective.

30. For what fault have I most toleration?: lying.

31. My favorite motto: “a severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.”

CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE

Admittedly, this is a rather depressing blog.

Having just finished Cat's Cradle yesterday and nothing to read at the moment, I decided I'd write something instead.

So, I'm writing today to review Westwood's newest restaurant, Fat Sal's and to give myself and my readers a break from my bleak views on life and love.

What I ate at Fat Sal's was not a cheeseburger. And, let's face it, Westwood is far from what anyone would consider paradise. But this blog has a theme to which I am very dedicated, so I am sticking with it. Besides, there is no song title that could aptly describe the sandwich I just ate.

A portion of the Fat Sal's menu is dedicated to the appropriately named Fat Sandwiches, most of which include your favorite fried sides (potato chips, french fries, onion rings and even mozzarella sticks or jalapeño poppers) and so much more.

When I first heard about the California burrito, I was delighted that San Diegans had included french fries in what is possibly my favorite dish. When it came to french fries in a sandwich, though, I was a bit more skeptical.

At any rate, I ordered the Fat Juanito-rib eye steak, chili, jalapeño poppers, french fries, avocado, shredded lettuce, tomato, onions, ranch and Tapatio on a hero.

It does sound like a behemoth. As I sat anticipating my sandwich, my imagination wandered and my expectations soared. Soon enough, the sandwich had grown in my mind to one of Homer Simpson-esque proportions. Disappointingly, I found the sandwich to be scarcely bigger than a Subway sandwich.

The sandwich was good, but I think that's all the credit I can really give it, aside from being well-imagined by whomever thought to put chili, jalapeño poppers and steak together on a sandwich.

I am an avid chili lover, and Fat Sal's chili-though absolutely covering the whole sandwich (which made it extraordinarily messy)-is nothing to write home about. I like hearty, flavorful chili-not just beans.

Needless to say, the sandwich's flavor came mostly from its other ingredients-the ranch was rather overpowering, especially since the steak was buried into odd pockets of the sandwich rather than occupying the entire bottom bun as I would have liked.

At the end of the day, I'd give the Fat Juanito a 6/10. That being said, Fat Sal's exhibits a lot of potential and I certainly will be back to give another sandwich on their menu a try.