ASTRO ZOMBIES

Seeing as it's nearly Halloween, I think it's about time to discuss fear.

People are afraid of a lot of things. I'm a (recovering) germophobe, so I'm afraid of germs. People fear the dark, outdoors, peanut butter, the number thirteen, black cats, and a multitude of other things. I'm certain that the list is endless.

I am of the opinion that fear motivates all human actions. I think this point is intuitive, but I can provide a few examples. People go to college because they're afraid they won't be able to secure a steady job. They check the expiration dates on milk cartons because they're afraid to get sick. They wear seatbelts because they fear being seriously in a crash.

The main thing on my mind lately has been finding a female companion. I realized my behavior needs to change if this is to become a reality.

Having always been of the opinion that fear motivates our every action, it is surprising to me that I never inspected the causal relationship of my fears and my loneliness.

What is it exactly that I'm afraid of? Why can't I just put myself out there and meet women, having the knowledge that most times things won't work out the way I want them to? This knowledge should not prevent me from meeting new people, but rather encourage it. Shit happens, you just roll with it. Right?

Well, here's what I'm afraid of. It's taken me a number of years to realize it, and it's very naive while simultaneously romantic.

I'm afraid that my relationship with whomever the (unlucky) girl may be will ruin the notion of perfect romance.

I was made aware of this when I witnessed what other people may describe as a day-to-day occurrence. Before going out, a girl told her man "It's cold out, don't forget to bring a jacket," to which I would likely have replied, "Thanks sweetie, I'll go grab one," or something along those lines. Her man just said, "Yeah," and they were on with it.

I understand that after certain levels of exposure the nature of any relationship changes. I don't really know what all this adds up to, and as I'm sitting here writing this I feel I've asked more questions than I've answered.

I apologize for the abrupt ending, but...

Darren.