CHERRY PIE

I barely remember what it feels like to be depressed anymore.

That was certainly an overstatement, but that's artistic license for you.

I don't know why, because it doesn't seem like much has changed. In many ways, I feel even my attitude hasn't changed much. I can't identify this mysterious source of happiness, but hell-I'm not complaining.

I do feel like it's harder to blog (read "disclose your feelings over the Internet") when you're in a good mood.

I haven't written an overtly funny post in quite some time (rather, since I first started this blog), though I'm sure I've made a few people laugh since then. Those posts likely weren't funny, though. I'd venture to guess that they were either entirely melodramatic, self-deprecating, or both.

That being said, I'd like to relay to you the true story that may be one of the funniest I've had the pleasure to witness.

Half of the humor of the story comes from understanding my Mom. She's a wonderful woman. She's caring and minds her own business. She rarely has anything negative to say. Even when she makes fun of people, it is typically only at my sister's or my expense.

But one fateful day about eight years ago, she made one of the greatest jokes I've ever heard, even to this day.

My sister and I had a half-day at school one day during the early summer months and my Mom picked us up from school. Either she found Carl's Jr. particularly appetizing that night, or she was just tired from driving my sister and me around all day and didn't feel like making lunch. I'm almost certain it's the latter, but she was never the type to shy away from making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, so your guess is as good as mine.

Anyway, as we approached Carl's Jr., we saw a girl who was about eight years old. She was around 4'2" and weighed somewhere in the neighborhood of 175 pounds. If you think this is an exaggeration, it's actually just a poor estimation. I have a vivid memory of her, but it's difficult for me to accurately guess any measurement (distance, weight, time, etc.). She wasn't quite fit for Maury, but she could definitely have been in a commercial about childhood diabetes or obesity. Not only that, she had curly red hair and a face full of freckles.

Here's the kicker: she was wearing the t-shirt equivalent of the panties shown above. It was a pink t-shirt with the words "CUTIE PIE" prominently displayed above the image of some cherries.

And I will never forget the immortal words my Mom used to describe that poor little girl: "She could use a little more cute, and a lot less pie."