"...I'd fight for the cause/Wouldn't expect nothing in return/I'd give you everything you want/I'd be everything you'd need/You could take my hand/And I could take the lead."
I searched for the Oscar Wilde quote I thought fit seamlessly in this post, but apparently I misread what he wrote in the preface to The Picture of Dorian Gray. Yasi, if you're reading this-I wonder if this is a weird coincidence or if your blog had that much of an impact on me. Alas, I digress (as is apt to happen-my readers are no strangers to digression). Also, I'm SO over you and your blog. (Just kidding-I really, really miss it.)
What I thought Wilde said was that the artist reveals more about herself than her subject in her work. Had he said this, I would agree. But this is, apparently, original phrasing (and perhaps an uncommon belief) as my Google query had few results.
To the point:
If I were an artist, I'd paint a portrait of you. I will allow for the possibility that you are flawed, but I am blind to your imperfections. It would be a beautiful portrait that would immortalize you in the hearts and minds of art critics, friends and family, and laymen all the same. I want everyone to see the beauty I see in you. (The Smiths' "I Won't Share You" is running in the back of my mind, but I'd like for everyone to recognize your beauty in the portrait. Most people's art is only recognized posthumously anyway.) I'd hope that it could serve to inspire them as it has inspired me. Whether they painted, wrote or sang their passion, I'd value my contribution. I'd also hope that little of myself was revealed in the portrait-the chaos, the disarray, the ugliness. What I would hope to reveal about myself is my loving nature, my admiration for your beauty, and moreover, my admiration for you.
If I were a scientist, my research would miracle cure. I'd spend hours in the lab paying attention to the smallest of details. My work would be meticulous, mundane, tedious, and soul-sucking. But if I were to find the cure to some debilitating disease (and believe me, this is very hypothetical), it would all have been for you. It will have been worth every moment if I could come home to you at night. I'd fly you to Stockholm, where you would be the focus of my acceptance speech. You'd sit in the front row, and I'd tell the world (or at least the international scientific community) just what you meant to me. I'd mention how those days during my senior year of college I'd spent missing you had not been in vain. I'd let them know that your smile and your laugh was all it ever took to make me happy. If you cried in your seat in the front row (in your gown and pearls that I'd bought you for the occasion), I'd be by your side to comfort you and to help you fix your make-up.
If I were a poet, I'd write you a sonnet that would put Shakespeare's to shame-not because I possessed any particular talent as a writer, but because you serve as such an inspiration. Generations to come would read those fourteen lines revealing the romantic feelings I have for you. As this post reveals, I am a long-winded writer. Hemingway and the Bard had their ways with words, but more importantly with brevity. This is a talent I could possess only with your inspiration. It would be an innocent and honest ode to you. It would not include any sexual innuendos, as Shakespeare's all had. Not a parent in any school district would object to their children reading the poem. I hope for the widest audience possible to express my feelings.
Sadly, though, I am merely a college student and a blogger and this is the best I can do. Whether you realize it or not, these are my feelings for you. As it stands, this post cannot change much. I am both a pessimist and a victim of circumstance. While these circumstances are disfavorable, your inspiration has shone through in this post-I have revealed the optimism you bring out in me.
That means a lot to me, and I'd suspect it might mean something to you.
Hoping for the best,
Darren.
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